Lost in Translation

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Just arrived in Shanghai! First impressions so far…. lots and lots of chinese around here! The density of population is simply insane, a random stroll in the street or a walk in the subway feels like you are entering the highway and once you are on it, there ain’t NO turning back…  well, unless you want to end up glued to the floor.

Also, taking the subway in Shanghai is super cheap, (around 1$) but its a  real commando course : with a population of I-dunno-how-many-millions, each hour is rush hour, the trains are PACKED  and it literally feels like you are trapped in a stampede.

At first I was shocked, I politely gave way to other passengers and waited for less crowded trains.  IN VAIN.  First of all, there is no such thing in Shanghai as an overcrowded wagon : if you thought you couldn’t get in the train, the 3 Chinese who took your place and are now squeezed inside, cheeks pressed against the windows, will definitely prove you wrong.  The second rule:  in the end, the only way to get places is to play it the hard way, the chinese way. And that’s when it gets brutal.

It’s everyman for himself.  You push, shove, dodge saliva deposits, give a little elbow here and there, and firmly stand your ground. Hey, nigga’s gotta survive. Don’t bother saying ‘sorry’, the notion of personal space is almost abstract to chinese people, they wouldn’t understand why you are apologizing.

After a while, it kind of gets amusing, it feels like I’m in a Nintendo game racing and fighting for my life. But still, it’s an energy-sapping experience and I usually need 3 shots of coffee and several aspirins to recover from this  morning commute!

*the drawing has absolutely nothing to do with this, I know…

Random

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Having a hard time finding a title for each new post…I can’t just write « random » everytime, it’s such a turn off honestly.  I’ve never been really inspired with words, it just doesn’t come naturally to me so each time I post,  I have to face the dreaded « writer’s block » and admit to my painful lack of imagination!

Beware of the Japanese napkins

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Dress: Storets

Piece of advice to avoid being the subject of public ridicule in a japanese restaurant: the appetizers that are being served as starters, and that resemble dry rice paper wraps are actually NOT rice paper wraps. Nor are they appetizers. They are actually hand cleaning lyophilized napkins, and you should abstain from placing one in your mouth. In contact with saliva, these napkins have a rapid deployment capability which results in you looking rather foolish.
Believe me.
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Un conseil pour ne pas vous ridiculiser dans un resto japonais: les amuses gueules que l’on vous propose en entrée et qui ressemblent à des feuilles de riz séchées NE SONT PAS des feuilles de riz séchées. Ce ne sont pas non plus des amuses gueules. Ce sont des serviettes lyophilisées, évitez de les mettre dans votre bouche. Au contact de la salive, elles se déploient et vous avez vraiment l’air d’une grosse tanche.
Croyez moi…

The cat shrink

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Dress: Sue Wong

I’ve been going to see my shrink Dr.P for over three years now.

I just quit.

Now I prefer to have my psychoanalysis sessions with my cat, and believe it or not its exactly the same.

I lay down, I talk, he watches me and purrs…it’s very comforting.

No need to set appointments, it’s at home and I use croquettes as a means of payment.

I can also pet and stroke him during, and I could never do that with Dr.P and trust me, it was not for lack of trying.

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J’ai été trois ans en psychanalyse avec le Dr P.

J’ai arrêté.

Maintenant je suis en psychanalyse avec un psychat.

C’est pareil.

Je m’allonge, je parle, il ronronne… ça soulage.

Sauf que : pas besoin de rv, c’est à domicile et je le paye en croquettes.

Surtout je PEUX le caresser, ce que je n’ai jamais pu faire avec le Dr P., et ce n’est pas faute d’avoir essayé.

Hair tutorial

Capture d’écran 2013-06-24 à 21.02.27

Part your hair in two sections perpendicular to the usual centre parting, going from one ear to the other.

Bring the front section to the centre of your forehead and blow-dry. Braid the section and let it hang between your eyes.

Shave the top part of the rear section, leaving only a small patch of hair on top of your neck. Dye this patch in Klein blue.

Pick a building of your neighborhood (minimum 10 story high) and go on its rooftop.

Jump.

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Séparez vos cheveux en deux masses par une raie allant d’une oreille à l’autre.

Ramenez la masse avant vers le front et attachez là en une queue de cheval entre les deux yeux, au niveau des sourcils.

Rasez la partie haute de la masse arrière en ne laissant qu’une frange, au niveau de la nuque. Lissez parfaitement cette frange.

Montez en haut d’un immeuble d’au moins dix étages.

Sautez.

The return

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necklace: Zara, Jacket: Bec&Bridge ,Top: Storets Pourquoi n’ai je pas posté depuis 3 mois? Telle est la question. Je me cherche des excuses et je n’en trouve pas de valables si ce n’est que je suis une grosse feignasse. Ce n’est pas … Lire la suite